Thursday, October 09, 2008

The Deer Hunt

This is something that my dad always had a copy of. I'm not sure where he got it or who actually wrote it. But it is cute and I have heard of so many hunting trips that ended up some what like this. It is hunting season so decided to post it. Those that hunt will laugh and those that oppose hunting will laugh.

The Deer Hunt

2:30 am Alarm clock rings
3:00 am Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
3:15 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the truck
3:30 am Leave for deer woods
3:45 am Drive back home and pick up the gun
4:00 am Drive like hell to get to woods before daylight
5:15 am Set up camp, forgot the damn tent
5:45 am Head into the woods
6:05 am See 8 deer
6:06 am Take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07 am “Click”
6:08 am Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00 am Head back to camp
9:00 am Still looking for camp
10:00 am Realize you don’t know where camp is
Noon Fire gun for help --- eat wild berries
12:15 pm Run out of bullets – 8 deer go by
12:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 pm Realize you ate poison berries
12: 45 pm Rescued !!!
12:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 pm Arrive back at camp
3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets
4:01 pm Load gun. Leave camp again
5:00 pm Empty gun on squirrel that’s bugging you
6:00 pm Arrive at camp. See deer grazing in camp
6:01 pm Load gun’6:02 pm Fire gun
6: 03 pm One dead pickup truck
6:05 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer
6:06 pm Repress the strong desire to shoot partner
6:07 pm Fall into fire
6:10 pm Change cloths – throw burned ones into fire
6:15 pm Take pickup – leave partner and his deer in woods
6:25 pm Pickup boils over – hole shot in block
6:26 pm Start walking
6:30 pm Stumble and fall – drop gun in mud
6:35 pm Meet bear
6:36 pm Take aim
6:37 pm Fire gun – blow up barrel – plugged with mud
6:38 pm Shit pants !!!
6:39 pm Climb tree
(:00 pm Bear departs – Wrap #### gun around tree
Midnight Home at last !!!

Sunday – Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing deer license into little pieces, place them into envelop and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place them. !!!!

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