Thursday, February 02, 2006

How to Kill a Smoke Alarm with a Mop

There is nothing like getting woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning by the obnoxious cry of a smoke alarm that is telling you it's battery is low and needs to be changed. And your ALL ALONE exept for the dogs and cats. That is what happened to me yesterday morning. Or rather I was woke up with 3 dogs bouncing on the bed saying there was something wrong and then I hear the horrible, deafeningly loud squeal of the low battery notification. I heard it and heard it and heard it. I heard it about every thirty seconds. While I was wondering what to do about it the dogs were jumping all over me and howling, and the cats were running around the house and meowing. I understood that they were asking me to stop that horrendous noise. And I wanted to. Desperately. But how? That alarm was about 12 feet up on the wall in the living room. I have what are called catherderal ceilings the builder and his workers had followed state rules putting the smoke alarm about 10 inches from the top of the ceiling. That meant it was way, way out of my reach.
OK - we have two ladders. But I am terrified of heights. I never climb ladders. In desperation I drug and manhandled (woman handled) the extention ladder into the living room, but was unable to raise it to lean against the wall. Dropping it on the floor I went back out to drag in the step ladder, not knowing if it would be tall enough. I set it up as close to the place under the smoke alarm as I could but couldn't come closer than about 5 feet from the dang thing standing on the top step, a step I couldn't even believe I was on. So back down the latter and out to the garage to find something that I could use to knock the thing off the wall with. The mop! - the sponge mop - as it had the metal bar that kept the sponge in place which I figured would help pry it off. Back up the latter. Stand on the top step and beat the smoke alarm. Finally - finally it came off but to my dismay I then saw, and remembered, that the *&&()+@# thing was wired into the house electical system. The battery is only a back up in case the electic fails. And I still can't reach it! I use the mop some more to pull it down and finally it snaps off the wires, and falls to the floor. Back down the latter I go, snatch it up and jerk the battery out of it. Peace At Last.
Now, completely exhausted, sweet dripping off me, mad as hell, and pissed, I suddenly find my self shaking with the cold that is coming in the open front door, and crying my eyes out. It is now 5 o'clock am. There is only one thing to do. Crawl back in bed. Hug the dogs and cats to me to get warm and wait for sunrise.

1 comment:

  1. I've murdered my smoke alarm with a broom handle before so I can definitely relate!!

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